by Shane Holland

One thing that seems to be missing from human interactions in the world today is gentleness. I can understand unbelievers not showing gentleness since it is a fruit of the Spirit given to us from God, but it seems like many Christians too struggle to exhibit this fruit. Paul’s letter to Titus gives believers a reminder of how gentleness should be an integral part of our interaction with others.

“Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy to all people.” 

Titus 3:1-2

There are so many good nuggets of wisdom in these two verses, but we will focus on the last three points.

If you are like me, I enjoy a good debate; however, I have to be careful because I tend to push hard to win.  My desire to win an argument is my pride flaring up and me not wanting to be proven wrong. As I have matured in my faith, I have learned it is impossible to win someone over if I approach them with anger and not gentleness. As I have grown older, I now see anger as a lack of confidence instead of the passion I thought it showed in my youth.  As Christians, how can we hope to show someone the gift we have been given if we show them in a quarreling way instead of a gentle way?  The act of being gentle can diffuse a situation and show unbelievers our confidence in the relationship we have with our Lord. 

To “show perfect courtesy to all people” is a must for Christians. We are tasked with showing God’s love to all people, but not affirming life choices that go against God’s plan. This can be difficult at times, but we must remember as believers all that we have been forgiven. Christ has and continues to show us grace when we fall short and His example reminds us to extend grace and show “perfect courtesy” to others. 

Additionally, we must follow the words of Jesus in Matthew 11:29-30.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for you souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 


 If we continue to try and carry all our own burdens, our hearts are too heavy for us to show a spirit of gentleness. Only by turning our burdens over to Christ are we able to be gentle in heart so that others see Christ in us. 

Father God, thank you for showing us, by your example, how to be gentle with unbelievers and believers. Thank you for allowing us to turn our burdens over to you so that we can be gentle and not overburdened in our hearts. Forgive us for trying to carry our burdens on our own and deal with people in our own prideful ways. Father, helps us to continue to turn our burdens over and allow us to share your good news with gentleness and confidence.