Better Together: The Why and How of Christian Accountability

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. (Hebrews 3:12-13, ESV)

four men sitting on ground

Two surprising phrases occur in just one sentence: brothers and evil, unbelieving heart. Brothers (and sisters) in Christ can have an evil, unbelieving heart. Gradually, over time, you can come to believe something else entirely. Sin has a numbing effect, a hardening of the heart and the conscience. Or a sudden disappointment, an unexpected life-changing circumstance can rock your world and wreck your faith. This isn’t a new development. In the early church people were “prone to wander, prone to leave the God they loved.”

What do you do? Exhort one another. Every day. An exhortation is an encouraging warning. In order to carry out this command of Scripture, two realities have to be present: you must be in the position to give an encouraging warning, and you must be willing to receive one. You need an accountability partner (or partners). Here are three simple principles.

Relationship

Is there anyone in your life who makes you better? (Men with men, women with women). Who is willing to be bold enough to ask you difficult questions and transparent enough to answer difficult questions? The best accountability partners are those who, in C. S. Lewis’ words say to one another, “What! You too? I though I was the only one.” Accountability and friendship go hand in hand. If you don’t have this person, pray for this person. Discern God’s will. He is able and willing to send someone to walk with you.

Rhythm

Once you have someone willing to hold you accountable, you must establish a regular rhythm of accountability. Notice that the writer of Hebrews says, “every day.” Perhaps you need daily accountability. That isn’t a sign of weakness–it is a sign of strength, a willingness to know and be known, to grow and help someone else grow. Establish a rhythm of checking in with one another.

Real Questions

Ask one another questions pertinent to your walk with God and your areas of struggle. Rather than providing a list, here’s a link to a blog by Ed Stetzer. (https://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2008/may/accountability-questions.html) It is the most comprehensive list of accountability questions I’ve ever seen. Choose from these questions. If none are specific enough to your own struggles, make them specific. For example, if you struggle with gossip, have an accountability question about it. If you worry, make sure someone checks you on it. If you battle lust, be specific about both your thoughts and your habits.

Start today. That’s the urgency of Hebrews 3. Waiting until tomorrow gives sin one more day to harden your heart.