Here Jesus seemingly attaches a condition to our own forgiveness…our willingness to forgive others.

Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Jesus

While we may balk at the idea of conditional forgiveness (and yes we are saved by grace through faith, and that not of ourselves–Ephesians 2), we cannot logically or rightly ask for a gift from God we are not willing to give to others. Our willingness to forgive is directly linked to our ability to receive forgiveness. Paul elaborates on this theme in Ephesians 4:

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

ephesians 4:31-32, esv

At the forefront of every relationship, every conflict, every disagreement, every marriage, every interaction with our coworkers must be the reality that we live as forgiven people. We are known by our forgiveness. The reason Paul instructs us to let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and slander be put away from us is because, on the cross, Jesus drank the cup of bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and slander. He was mocked so that we don’t have to be. He was ridiculed so that we could be redeemed. He was made sin so that we could be made righteous. We are who we are because Jesus did what he did.

When we carry bitterness and anger against someone else, we deny the forgiveness we have received for ourselves. We live as unforgiven people, not forgiven people.

In order to legitimately pray this prayer, we must examine ourselves. Who are we holding a grudge against? Is there someone who has offended us and we can’t let go of the offense? Let me offer a helpful exercise. Get a sheet of paper. On one side, write down all the things God has forgiven you for. All the things. The worst and the least, the oldest and the most recent. Now on the other side of the paper write the names of people who have offended you and what they did. Compare the list. As you read the list on the left, forgive the people on the right as God has forgiven you for the things on the left. You will most likely discover that God’s forgiveness is more than sufficient reason for you to forgive what someone has done to you.