This Nine-question Quiz Will Ruin Your Day

Sometimes forgiveness doesn’t come natural–maybe most of the time. In simple terms, to forgive is to let go, to release someone of the debt they owe you for what they have done to you or to a loved one. Yet Jesus’ addendum to the Lord’s Prayer is unrelenting:

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:14, ESV)

This begs the question: does my forgiveness of others bring about Jesus’ forgiveness of me? The answer is “No!” Jesus’ forgiveness of you comes out of his great grace toward you. When you receive Christ as Savior, you are forgiven, redeemed, justified and free to live a life you never dreamed possible.

But what about those who hurt you? Why should you forgive them? Why would Jesus add such difficult words at the end of such a beautiful prayer?

R. T. Kendall offers these motivations:

1. Salvation is unconditional; fellowship with the Father is conditional.
2. Justification before God is unconditional; the anointing of the Spirit is conditional.
3. Our status in the family of God is unconditional; our intimacy with Christ is conditional.
4. Our eternal destiny—whether we go to heaven or to hell—is fixed, but receiving an additional reward is conditional.

If your relationship with God is strained, if you struggle to sense God’s Spirit at work in your life, if your intimacy with Christ seems nonexistent, ask yourself if there is someone you haven’t forgiven. And forgive…Now! Do the hard work of forgiveness.

I offer a prayer to help you get started.

Father, I honestly don’t want to forgive ______________________ (the person who has hurt you). They have __________________________ (whatever they’ve done). Yet I want and desperately need your forgiveness. I need your help forgiving _____________________ (the person).  I trust that you, through your Spirit, will give what I need to forgive __________________________ (the person). Thank you for forgiving me.

Yesterday’s (10/29/23) sermon raised some questions. This week, in the blog, I’ll attempt to answer some of them!

Can you forgive an unrepentant person? What if someone has hurt you deeply, or is still hurting you, but is unrepentant. They know what they have done (you’ve told them…or it’s obvious) but they refuse to accept responsibility. Can you forgive such a person?

First of all let’s define forgiveness. I’ll give you the short and the long definition. My favorite (short) definition of forgiveness is this: the refusal to punish someone for something they’ve done to you. We punish usually by our words. When someone hurts us we hurt them–by the things we say to them or about them. My favorite (long) definition of forgiveness: “When do we forgive others? When we strive against all thoughts of revenge; when we will not do our enemies mischief, but wish well to them, grieve at their calamities, pray for them, seek reconciliation with them, and show ourselves ready on all occasions to relieve them. (Thomas Watson, Body of Divinity)

Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

So what does this mean for the unrepentant person? In short, you can’t give someone what they cannot receive. John Piper says, “When a person who wronged us does not repent with contrition and confession and conversion, he cuts off the full work of forgiveness.” As such, you cannot forgive an unrepentant person. Now I know what some of you are thinking. Whew! I didn’t want to. Now I’m off the hook.

Not so quick! Notice Watson’s definition and Romans 12:18. The phrases “strive against all revenge” and ” so far as it depends on you” show up. While you cannot forgive an unrepentant person, you must release them. Piper again says, “We can still lay down our ill will; we can hand over our anger to God; we can seek to do him good; but we cannot carry through reconciliation or intimacy.”

While you cannot give someone what he is unwilling to receive, the question is are you really willing to give it? Piper breaks down Watson’s definition like this:

Here is forgiveness: when you feel that someone is your enemy or when you simply feel that you or someone you care about has been wronged, forgiveness means:

1. resisting revenge,
2. not returning evil for evil,
3. wishing them well,
4. grieving at their calamities
5. praying for their welfare,
6. seeking reconciliation so far as it depends on you,
7. and coming to their aid in distress.

Ouch. This requires a real heart check.

by Jerry Lewis

It may be Sunday, but Friday’s coming.

The sun is shining brightly. The crowds are brimming with excitement.

It may be Sunday, but Friday’s coming.

They find a donkey. They pull off their cloaks to saddle the donkey. Jesus, their supposed king rides down into Jerusalem on that donkey.

It may be Sunday, but Friday’s coming.

The crowd throws their coats down in the road. They cut palm branches and soften the path for Jesus as rides into the eastern gate. They are shouting “Hosanna!” They’re waving palm branches.

It may be Sunday, but Friday’s coming.

It’s Friday. The crowd tears their clothes with anger. They clench their fists. They wave in defiance.

It’s Friday. Jesus is hanging, bleeding, dying. The crowd is mocking. The disciples have fled. Mary weeps. Jesus is crying. To his Father.

They took his clothes. And gambled for them.

It’s Friday…but Sunday’s coming.

In Psalm 56, David faces seemingly insurmountable difficulties. In the midst of them, he affirms that he can trust God. One of his primary reasons is that God’s keeps his word, his promises never fail. This week I reached out to the Grace family and asked about promises that have been especially meaningful to you. Here’s what you shared. Thank you for trusting God…and sharing why you do!

As more come in on the FB post, I’ll update this blog. Consider it a treasure chest to be opened every day. And that’s one of my favorite promises and the reason for the title of this blog. God’s mercies are new every morning (enough for today). What a faithful God!

But this I call to mind; and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him. (Lamentations 3:21-24)

And here are the ones you shared.

It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)–Nancy Elliot, Shannon Delaney, Crystal Baker

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear… (Psalm 46:1)–Marie Grindstaff, when God protected their home from being flooded

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (Isaiah 43:2)–Mary Shomaker

Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made and I will bear. I will carry and I will save. (Isaiah 46:4)–Tammy McCrory

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)–Jeanna Gowan

Behold the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Revelation 21:3-4)–Margaret Fretwell

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)–Jennifer Buchanan

They who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)–Joyce Poplin

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (‭‭‭Psalm‬ ‭18‬‬:‭2‬‬‬)–Don Grindstaff

The Lord will take me in. (Psalm 27:10)–Ray Revis

I will never leave you or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5.)–Tina Laughridge

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)–Sue Salladin

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)–Janis Bolick

For I consider the sufferings of this present time not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. – Rom. 8:18
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison… – 2 Cor. 4:17

Sounds strange. Replacing fear with fear. Yet from someone who was terrified at the possibility of death, David posits the fear of God as the response to our fears and troubles. He writes:

I sought the Lord and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. This poor man cried and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. O fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack.

Psalm 34:5,7, 9 (ESV)

This Psalm chronicles David’s near-death experience. On the run from Saul, he runs from trouble to trouble. Thinking the king of Gath will be a hiding place, he arrives only to be discovered and immediately begins to feign insanity to the point of spit running down his beard to throw off his would be assailants. God delivers him and he writes Psalm 34 to thank and praise him.

How do you and I replace our fears with one fear?

1. Don’t forget your story, and I’m talking about the time when you were in dire straits and God came through. This doesn’t mean you got the outcome you were looking for. But you can see how God was present. It’s okay (and good!) to repeat that story.
2. Don’t forget that you have a God to praise. (So many attributes)
3. Discern the difference between fears and troubles. (vs. 5 and 7) Fears are things that could happen. Fears live in the future. Troubles are real and present. To give too much attention to fears leads to paralysis. To ignore troubles leads to more troubles.
4. Remind yourself daily of the Gospel. Look at verses 15-20 and remind yourself of this: The Father turned away from his Son on the cross, and as a result the Father looks toward me. The face of the Father was against his Son and, as a result, is for me. The Father did not respond to the cry of his Son on the cross, and as a result he will respond to my cry. The Father was not near to his brokenhearted Son and as a result, today he is be near me.

In other words, fight your fears with one fear, the fear of the Lord. For more on this, read Michael Reeves, Rejoice and Tremble, a great study on the fear of God.

As pastor at Grace I have deliberately focused on the gospel and deliberately steered clear of engaging in politics. I still hold to that position because the gospel “is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes.” (Romans 1:16) The good news of Jesus Christ is worthy of center stage, now and always. This blog is not a departure from that position. However, the timeliness of what we are experiencing in our country regarding pre-born children requires a response.

At Grace we value life…at every stage. This week I visited with someone dying from cancer, and another person whose dementia is advancing while his cognitive capacity is diminishing. Their lives matter. Just two weeks ago we received the invitation to host Night to Shine, a prom for people with special needs, next February. Their lives matter. So do the lives of pre-born children. In Psalm 139, David wrote, “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (Psalm 139:16)

A society that devalues life at any stage will ultimately devalue life at every stage.

In an August 2017 CBS story on Iceland’s almost complete eradication of children born with Down’s syndrome (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/down-syndrome-iceland/), a mother of one of only three children born with Down’s in Iceland that year asked, “What kind of society do you want to live in?”

As we face the potential decision to overturn Roe V. Wade, pray that our Supreme Court will be undeterred by popular opinion. Pray that we will return, for all the right reasons, to a country that values human life, regardless of that person’s ability to contribute to our society. Pray that states, specifically North Carolina, will embrace the value of human life since the Supreme Court’s decision could shift this responsibility to the states.

When God created the earth and humankind, he saw everything he had made and “behold, it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31).

It still is.